Schwarzwälderkirschtorte update
Posted on Sunday 25 April, 2010
Filed Under Blogging
I HAVE just about recovered from the stress of spending all day Friday in the High Court, where I am defending a libel action brought against me by Johanna Kaschke, a woman who has in the last three years gone from seeking nomination as a Labour parliamentary candidate to being an active Tory, pausing only for membership of Respect and an unspecified Communist Party in between.
According to her account of the proceedings, she found it all rather a jolly jape:
I do enjoy though to act against good quality opposition in front of an excellent judge because that in turn spurns me on to perform better. My assistant was so smitten, she recommended I become a barrister, lol.
Lol, indeed. Even looking on as the excellent Robert Dougans presented my case left me so emotionally drained that it took several pints of Fullers’ ESB, a bottle of chianti, a bottle of sancerre and a chicken jalfrezi to regain an almost even keel.
Mr Justice Eady has reserved judgement, so no verdict for a while. In the meantime it remains only to reiterate my thanks to Robert and my other solictior, David Allen Green. Thanks, too, to those who turned up to support me, including David T of Harry’s Place, Charlie Pottins, John Gray, Skidmarx, Monty, Stroppybird, Alex Hilton, Michaela and a number of others.
Big shout out to Sue R, for her thoughtful and entirely apposite gift of a home-baked item of sugar and cream-laden confectionary typical of the Black Forest region of Germany. Ta muchly to Iain Dale, who provided a witness statement.
Ms K goes on to note:
This Amended Defence of Mr Osler is the most boring and stereo type document I have ever had to deal with, it is so boring I am falling asleep reading it and its pages and pages long and its written in a style, reading it feels like someone is slowly draining any type of intellect out of one’s brain. I suppose I won’t be much fun for the next few days until I laboured through this boring, boring amended defence.
Poor love. All I can say is that compared to the statements with which she provides the court, my defence is a model of lucidity, concision and clarity in English prose.
Meanwhile, I cannot help but notice that Johanna’s blog Blue-sphere for some reason suffers from a pronounced paucity of comments. If you wish to express an opinion on the merits of the issue in contention between us, I am sure she would be grateful for your observations.
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19 Responses to “Schwarzwälderkirschtorte update”
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Ahaha! What in Christ’s name did she expect? “It was a dark night, and the wind whistled in the comments section…“
“I do enjoy though to act against good quality opposition in front of an excellent judge”
I am sure you would agree Dave that she is underestimating how fantastic the Judge is!
Seriously though what planet is……………………
P.S. SueR -fantastic.
BenSix – very funny.
Call me a literary snob but if I was being sued by someone for comments in a blog, I’d be less outraged if they could actually read and write English. (Is English Ms K’s second language? If she’s not a native speaker, I apologise.)
Dave were you really on an even keel after “several pints of Fullers’ ESB, a bottle of chianti, a bottle of sancerre”? It seems improbable.
I did pop over to her site to see if it’s worth leaving a comment but it’s not obvious how to engage in a sensible way with it. My knowledge of the Freemasons and their mathematical concepts is pretty rudimentary.
Chin up!
If you loose round one then presumably the argument becomes the validity of the offending comment. On the evidence I would rate your chances as being very good.
Isn’t it funny how we ‘ordinary’ folk don’t resort to the courts when we are being offended, we dust ourselves down and fight back. This is called normality!
Her blog is so bereft of comments as she doesn’t publish them. At least she publishes very few of mine, for some reason. Only the ones under ridiculous names such as “Steve Wright (p.m. shift)” (Comment: “Love the blog!”) seem to make the grade. Can’t imagine why.
Dean. How can you actually prove that you are offended. It is just an emotion surely. You could pretend of course you are crying to make your point that you are offended. But how do you really prove it. Women are always crying about one thing or another. You just smile and pretend you sympathise.
In Scotland we would say ‘feck off ya vanker’ or ‘get it right up ye’ then carry on as normal.
When this is all over, Dave, I’ll bake you a fruitcake. (if Stropybird doesn’t mind.).
SueR. Could you bake this old fruitcake a fruitcake using wholemeal flower!
Sue R. off course I don’t mind .
I have enough trouble mastering basic cookery skills , baking is beyond me ! So cake is welcome .
Sorry I couldn’t make it – glad you’re getting some good help though.
Did Eady say anything at all that was illuminating? When do you head back to court?
If it’s not prejudiocial or libellous, I would like to point out that I thought he had quite a twinkle in his eye at certain times. please delete this remark if you think it is harmful.
Ms K states on her website:
This time I had some excellent support from the PSU and it helped to get me through the long day of arguing to and fro
But what is the “PSU”? The first reference I found on my search engine (data mine) of choice was http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychosoziale_Unterst%C3%BCtzung
A very bad translation is here http://translate.google.com/translate?js=y&prev=_t&hl=de&ie=UTF-8&layout=1&eotf=1&u=http%3A%2F%2Fde.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FPsychosoziale_Unterst%25C3%25BCtzung&sl=de&tl=en
Ms K states on her website:
This time I had some excellent support from the PSU and it helped to get me through the long day of arguing to and fro
But what is the “PSU”? The first reference I found on my search engine (data mine) of choice was de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychosoziale_Unterst%C3%BCtzung
A very bad translation is here
translate.google.com/translate?js=y&prev=_t&hl=de&ie=UTF-8&layout=1&eotf=1&u=http%3A%2F%2Fde.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FPsychosoziale_Unterst%25C3%25BCtzung&sl=de&tl=en
Will more support from the PSU be coming soon?
Following your suggestion, Dave, I have left the following comment on Ms K’s blog:
“If the left is so deluded, why were you once a member of it?
Would you care to explain your odyssey from the Labour Party to the Tory Party via Respect?
I note that you are now calling for the re-introduction of the death penalty, so presumably you are moving still further to the right. I doubt very much whether David Cameron wishes to be associated with such dubious supporters.
You object to Dave Osler’s defence document on the grounds that it is boring. Well, if you don’t want to read boring legal documents, I suggest you stop bringing frivolous libel suits.
It is in the nature of legal documents that they are not as instantly readable as comic strips, or indeed as blog comments.
But if reading the defence document hurts your brain, there is a simple solution. Drop the case.
If you carry on, you may win, or you may lose – but you will certainly end up looking like an idiot, and an embarassment to your party.”
I note that she moderate the comments, so it will be interesting to see if this one appears.
Paul: no chance that it’ll get published.
By the way, I’m kicking myself that I didn’t by the domain name of her website when it ran out a fortnight or so ago (she’s renewed it now).
good luck, Dave
A glance at Ms K’s blog gives us a good idea of the type of opponent Dave is facing.
I particularly liked a post by Ms K entitled “The Freemasons and mathematical concepts”, from which we learn that banks were invented by none other than that recurrent obsession for conspiracy theorists, the Knights Templar.
In the early 14th century Philip IV of France had the surviving Templars accused of heresy and burnt at the stake. Ms K seems to think that this was a jolly good thing, for she writes “Pope Clement V dissolved them (the Templars) officially as they worshipped symbols like goat’s heads. Indeed banking has nothing to do whatsoever with the admiration of a god but only respects balance sheets and profits, hence the worship of goats heads, a symbol of the devil”.
Ms K doesn’t like money much, so I think the following quote could perhaps be used by Dave’s defence lawyers: “I strongly belief (sic) the amounts of money anyone can have should strictly be rationed because if being able to become rich remains the desirable lifestyle people keep on inventing silly schemes to draw money out of others and this often is done at the expense of health and or environment. The World Bank backs deal to strip African rain forests of wood, worth millions in return for bags of sugar and salt, worth as little as £55 for the local communities”.
I wonder if use of Britain’s absurd libel laws to harass left-wing bloggers falls into the category of “silly schemes to draw money out of others”.
Far be it from me to challenge Ms K’s detailed knowledge of the links between banking and Satanism, or of the exchange of bags of sugar for rain forests, subjects to which she has doubtless devoted immense scholarship. But these positions do seem somewhat out of line with the official stance of the Conservative Party.
As for money rationing – this sounds like a call for a maximum wage, and for the abolition of stock markets. Excellent ideas! Maybe she can ask David Cameron to amend the Tory manifesto to include them.