ONE-LEGGED Lithuanian lesbians, David Cameron joked in 2007, should not be in receipt of Arts Council grants. On what grounds they might be deemed intrinsically more or less deserving than heterosexual Estonian bipeds, he didn’t say.
But clearly the Old Etonian element among leading Tories has got something of a downer on amputees. Hence Boris Johnson’s column in the Daily Telegraph this morning, in which he merrily compares Gordon Brown’s chances of winning the next election with the prospects enjoyed by a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest.
Boom, boom. Still, at least the Nasty Party now no longer feels compelled to go in for autopilot gay-bashing and mockery of the disabled simultaneously. In their terms, that’s probably progress.
Readers will know that I’m the last person to swoon like a crudely-propositioned Victorian maiden the moment I hear a mildly politically incorrect wisecrack. My only objection to BoJo’s gag is that it is not particularly funny.
If you really want to learn how to sock it to the raspberry ripples properly, go and listen to Scottish stand-up Jerry Sadowitz do his Heather Mills routine. At least that has genuine satirical edge.
Otherwise, the London mayor’s main contention still stands. Despite what looks like a rogue poll over the weekend, putting the gap between the two main parties at just two percentage points, few of the political betting public consider the chances of an outright Labour victory worth a flutter.
That said, the lead enjoyed by the Conservative Party is falling fast, and the Tories damn well know it. Two years ago, especially after the loss of the Glasgow East by-election, I honestly believed that Labour was sleepwalking towards a defeat of 1931 proportions.
Instead, we are looking at a common or garden election loss on a scale from which recovery will be possible in years rather than decades. That, under the circumstances, almost qualifies as a result.
Meanwhile, might I just leave de Pfeffel with this 2003 headline from the BBC News website? It reads: Mt Cameroon tamed by one-legged man.Posted at 14:29, 1 March 2010