ONE-LEGGED Lithuanian lesbians, David Cameron joked in 2007, should not be in receipt of Arts Council grants. On what grounds they might be deemed intrinsically more or less deserving than heterosexual Estonian bipeds, he didn’t say.
But clearly the Old Etonian element among leading Tories has got something of a downer on amputees. Hence Boris Johnson’s column in the Daily Telegraph this morning, in which he merrily compares Gordon Brown’s chances of winning the next election with the prospects enjoyed by a one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest.
Boom, boom. Still, at least the Nasty Party now no longer feels compelled to go in for autopilot gay-bashing and mockery of the disabled simultaneously. In their terms, that’s probably progress.
Readers will know that I’m the last person to swoon like a crudely-propositioned Victorian maiden the moment I hear a mildly politically incorrect wisecrack. My only objection to BoJo’s gag is that it is not particularly funny.
If you really want to learn how to sock it to the raspberry ripples properly, go and listen to Scottish stand-up Jerry Sadowitz do his Heather Mills routine. At least that has genuine satirical edge.
Otherwise, the London mayor’s main contention still stands. Despite what looks like a rogue poll over the weekend, putting the gap between the two main parties at just two percentage points, few of the political betting public consider the chances of an outright Labour victory worth a flutter.
That said, the lead enjoyed by the Conservative Party is falling fast, and the Tories damn well know it. Two years ago, especially after the loss of the Glasgow East by-election, I honestly believed that Labour was sleepwalking towards a defeat of 1931 proportions.
Instead, we are looking at a common or garden election loss on a scale from which recovery will be possible in years rather than decades. That, under the circumstances, almost qualifies as a result.
Meanwhile, might I just leave de Pfeffel with this 2003 headline from the BBC News website? It reads: Mt Cameroon tamed by one-legged man.
Posted at 14:29, 1 March 2010
Comments (12)
That was one of my all time favourite jokes when Heather Mills was married to Paul McCartney,
What has three legs and lives on a farm?
The McCartney’s
What is your tipping point? That time when the evidence is so overwhelming that your ideological baggage has to be jettisoned for a new paradign which explains events as you find them.
A fucking humungous deficit, a completely useless buraucracy sucking our resources, consumers loaded up with debt, rampant asset price inflation, a clobbered and uncompetitive manufactuering sector, the culture swamped by a tsunami of immigration, and leading it all, a talentless drug-addled autistic man-with-a-plan.
Okay stay true to your ideas and report on business in the Guardian through the prism of rose-tinted Marxism. Rushbridger's tipping-point on you would come the next day.
Dave,
Even your generous comments policy must be sorely tested by the cretinous views of Michael Read.
My tipping point, Mike? A Tory government. And yours?
You've been waiting years to use that quote!
Interesting that Tories should make jokes about amputees.
I wonder if they've considered the fact that most amputees are soldiers returning from Iraq or Afganistan.
But then I guess that just proves my impeccable PC credentials.
Tory lead down to five points: poll
(UKPA) – 2 hours ago
Labour could be on course to win more seats than the Tories at the forthcoming general election, according to a new poll.
The ComRes survey for The Independent showed the Conservatives' lead narrowing from seven to five points in the past month.
It is the second poll in recent days to suggest that Labour could remain the biggest party in the Commons, albeit short of a majority.
ComRes found that support for the Tories was down one point at 37%, while that for Labour was up one on 32%. The Liberal Democrats were unchanged on 19%.
The margin represents the Tories' smallest lead in the monthly ComRes survey since December 2008.
According to John Curtice, professor of politics at Strathclyde University, the figures would give Labour 294 seats, the Tories 277, the Liberal Democrats 46 and others 33.
Gordon Brown would be 32 seats short of an overall majority in a hung parliament.
The poll reinforces the recent trend showing Labour gaining ground on the Tories as the election, expected on May 6, approaches.
A YouGov survey for the Sunday Times this weekend found that the Tories' lead had deteriorated to just two percentage points, by 37% to 35%.
ComRes telephoned 1,005 British adults between February 26 and 28. Data were weighted by past vote recall.
Copyright © 2010 The Press Association. All rights reserved.
reasons to vote:
provided that:
\
* you have no objection in principle to taking part in the liberal-democratic electoral process (and I have a lot more respect for those who enact such objections, peacefully and respectfully, than for those who hypocritically take part while aiming to replace liberal democracy with something even worse);
* you are serious about taking part in the choice of a government for Britain, in the awareness that an election is not a referendum (just as a referendum is not an election);
* you would rather vote for a party that has demonstrated a minimal commitment to social reform than for a party that opposes social reform, or one that is utterly confused about what social reform might involve and nowhere near gaining the power to effect it;
* you live in a marginal seat where your vote might make a difference; and your voting Labour carries no risk of letting a Tory, a Liberal Democrat or a nationalist into the Commons - vote Labour. If not, not.
Now how's that for a ringing endorsement?
Roll the dice, Dave, if you're tough enough.
Just pitch the crackpot stuff you write here for space in the business pages of the Guardian.
Now that would be cretinous.
Which in turn, since you wouldn't dare, suggests you know the stuff you write here is cretinous.
Ahh. Lefties. Getting fucked up the arse is not so much an unfortunate position as a career aspiration.
Michael - fuck off you dribbling, nonsensical far-right cretin, there's a good chap.
the culture swamped by a tsunami of immigration
Where?
Fuckwit.
I imagine the corporate sector are as worried about a Tory victory as the faux left. Can you imagine the horror? The Tories are a PR disaster; expert at alienating the general population along with significant social minorites. It's a major problem for business elites.
So if you want the efficient deployment of additional cuts in corporation tax, rapid privitization, more institutionalised racism, faith schools, ID cards, the removal of democratic rights and the rapid extension of neo-liberal policies, vote Labour. They can deliver the full package with the enthusiastic support of the TUC and the grudging support of the SWP. It's worked wonders so far. Just look at where we are.
Meanwhile the Tories are starting on the back foot. And they're disconnected from the corporate sector's ablest accomplices: Stalinist remnants and the official 'trade union' bureaucracy.