None of Morphy Richards’ business

Posted on Wednesday 26 December, 2007
Filed Under Society

 


Star ‘useful’ present this Christmas was undoubtedly a brand new decent quality black and silver pop-up toaster. This was something I actually wanted, having lived an existentially crippled toasterless existence for many months since the demise of a £6.99 cheapo number from Woolies. My 2008 breakfast times will be revolutionised accordingly.

The downside is that I am have been reduced to a state of shock by the full-scale questionnaire Morphy Richards expects me to fill out in order to qualify for a guarantee.

So keen are they to build a detailed database on Britain’s Xmas toaster recipient community that they even offer the additional incentive of entry into a £10,000 prize draw for punters ready to tell all.

I can understand why MR might want my email address. That way they can bombard me with spam, in the hope that I will eventually be browbeaten into coveting one of the firm’s deep fat fryers or breadmakers. Sadly for them, I – and I suspect most people – delete such sales pitches unread.

But why exactly does this company wish to know whether my home is a flat, maisonette, terraced, semi-detached, detached or bungalow property, and how many bedrooms it has? Or what my household income is? Or whether I or my partner play golf or do charity work? Or details of our occupations?

Look, guys. I want you to guarantee me that your bloody toaster will reliably grill sliced bread, and maybe the odd crumpet, for the next few years. That is hardly a lot to ask.

I do not expect to have to part with personal details as a precondition of your promising me that. Any more of the Big Brother stuff and I’ll switch my custom to Russell Hobbs.


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Comments

4 Responses to “None of Morphy Richards’ business”

  1. stroppybird
    on December 26th, 2007 at 12:16

    Well I have to admit the reason that was one of your pressies was I was fed up with trying to toast bread using one of those grill thingies.

    Mind, even I couldnt burn toast with it as it was so damn slow.

    I wonder if it is legal to expect that info in exchange for a guarantee. You should send it back blank for those bits, see what they do.I suppose a guarantee is optional , so they can get away with it.

  2. Karl-Marx-Straße
    on December 26th, 2007 at 13:35

    Of course a guarantee isn’t optional. 1 year on new goods is UK law (though Germany claims EU directives forced them to change the law to 2 years over here), and the Sale of Goods Act on top of that meaning things should last for a ‘reasonable’ period. You’ve got a receipt, you’ve got a guarantee, . Shove morphy richards’ questionnaire up their…up their paper shredder, if they sell that kind of thing (in beige, with a ‘farmhouse scene’ in dark brown enamel paint, presumably).

  3. Last of the Blairites
    on December 26th, 2007 at 16:25

    Dave, is that your cover blown?

  4. Emmanuel Goldstein
    on December 28th, 2007 at 04:00

    I thought you were a specialist business journalist? As Karl-Marx-Straße points out you (well, the purchaser) will have extensive rights under the Sale of Goods Act, and these rights are primarily against the seller, not the manufacturer.

    http://www.consumerdirect.gov.uk/

    http://www.tradingstandards.gov.uk/

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/consumer/guides_to/

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/consumer/guides_to/goods_wrong.shtml

    http://www.oft.gov.uk/